Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
