i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
