i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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