where does the pee come out of this thing
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
