about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
