You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
