she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I did not marry a roomba.
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