I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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