Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
