You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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