while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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