What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Randomize
