so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
