Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
