he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Randomize
