5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
