No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
