Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
