Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
