i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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