We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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