she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
