Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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