I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
