Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
