i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
