Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Randomize
