Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
