so let's talk penis.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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