How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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