So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
