i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
