There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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