This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
