Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
