no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
