4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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