Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
