So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Randomize
