Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
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