She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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