i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I need moral support for this bender
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
