im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize