Can Purell be used as lube?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
