We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
youre lurking in front of me
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
