Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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