I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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