i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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