I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
