I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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