I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Come on in and take your pants off
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